Letting Go!

I just love mornings when I am not shot out of a canon and into my day. Days when I can sip coffee in the sunroom, listen to the birds sing and smell the fresh scent of salt in the air.

Recently as I sat in that relaxed state, I closed my eyes and remembered what Anita Moorjani (“Dying to be Me”) said about letting go. I thought about what that sensation would feel like, not to let go of life, but to let go of all the struggles, demands, expectations, and fears that come with physical living. Is it possible to do that, maybe just for a moment?

I took a breath and imagined letting go. Immediately, I heard this message:

“Humans have created stress filled lives that you work hard just to survive. It need not be that way…as a matter of fact, it is best that it NOT be that way for your own well being. As one enlightened being once said, “Consider the lilies of the field.”lilies-5

I remembered that quotation from the Sidney Poitier movie years ago, and not being a Bible scholar, I looked up the full passage.

Do Not Worry
(Luke 12:22-34)

25 Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?

26 Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?

28 And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:

29 And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.

In the Reiki Principals, Usui advises: “Just for today, do not worry!”

The message in the book Ishmael by Daniel Quinn, is that humanity is out of balance because we believe we are special and have lost awareness of how to be in a natural balance with all things. Ultimately, according to Ishmael, that imbalance must lead to humanity’s destruction. Have we created that imbalance out of our struggle to control everything? To have it our way? What have we done to ourselves in that process? As I look around at my life, what usually stresses me the most is what I have invented myself… beliefs, fears, demands and expectations of how life is “supposed” to be.

I am going to begin letting go of trying to keep up with myself. Going to consider the possibility that all is well. Just for a moment.

“I’m at my strongest when I’m able to let go, when I suspend my beliefs as well as disbeliefs, and leave myself open to all possibilities. That also seems to be when I’m able to experience the most internal clarity and synchronicities.”
(Anita Moorjani, Dying to Be Me: My Journey from Cancer, to Near Death, to True Healing)

Letting go, sounds like a useful spiritual practice.

 

Interview with Christiana’s Psychic Cafe!

I so enjoyed being interviewed by my old friend Christiana. She is a Grand Master Tarot reader and used to have space in the building my office is in. Once a year I would go to see Christiana for an overview of the year. We did several events together, I took classes with her and she with me. She is now in West Palm Beach Florida and you can reach her on Facebook at Christiana C. Gaudet and her web page is tarotbychristiana.com. When she asked me to do this interview, I jumped at the chance. I hope you enjoy it! The file is too large to post here but you can see it at http://tarottopics.com/content/hillary-gauvreau-psychic-cafe

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The Truth About “Guidance”

1331417123_327939950_1-Pictures-of--Life-Coach-Spiritual-Guidance-CounselorAnyone who was a part of the New Age movement of the 80’s and 90’s, as I was, knows about guides and guidance. I remember going to a workshop and a psychic reader told each participant who their “guides” were. We are more sophisticated in our understanding of guidance today but still I see folks getting confused about the difference between “desire” and “guidance”. I have an acquaintance who is very excited to be aware of guidance and enthusiastically follows it. She felt that she wasn’t fulfilling her purpose in life and one day was “guided” to quit her job. Guidance? Possibly. It depends on how she relates to the experience and what she gains in her life from that choice.  I knew a man back in the height of the new age movement who was “guided” to leave his wife. Guidance or desire? Could be either and only choice, time and experience reveals the value. The beautiful thing about choice is that we can’t get it wrong. No matter what we choose we will always have an experience to learn from. Guidance can keep those experiences efficiently aligned with our intention and is always available in each and every moment. If we get off track, guidance will show the way back.

If you are seeking spiritual guidance there are a few things that are useful to know. While many of us seek the “burning bush” of irrefutable guidance, it often doesn’t come to us that way. Some imagine it is a divine force outside of themselves telling them what to do. Sometimes it is a deceased relative that shares advice, a psychic message or a master avatar that one reveres and guides the path.  It can also be a feeling in the 843434-881756-393body, good or bad, synchronicities, or a roll of the dice. Anything can be guidance, even the lowly penny on the sidewalk.  If it is meaningful to you and gives you direction, it is guidance. I have a friend who knows that whenever a feather shows up in her life she is on the right path. For me it is a feeling in my body. The challenge is in being able to distinguish actual guidance from desire. Are we looking for direction or validation for what we want? Guidance is not a simple “do this” or “do that” switch. “The guides” are not in charge, the individual is. Guidance will never tell you what to do, but will show you a direction. When we are clear, that direction will offer an experience that is aligned with intention.

When I was a student at BBSH, I remember Barbara Brennan saying that once you start following guidance, it gets easier to hear but more challenging to follow. This is true. Often we think that guidance, like finding a soul mate, will lead us to the land of milk and honey, everything will work out and we will live happily ever after. My friend who quit her job is discovering that is not always true. I followed guidance when I enrolled at BBSH. I have been fulfilled by that choice, but the path had many losses and challenges for me to work through. Following authentic guidance will always, without exception, put you on a path of growth and purpose. It will not always give you what you think you want. When we are aligned and challenged, we have a sense of purpose. When we are not clear and challenged we tend to suffer. That is what Barbara meant. Guidance gets clearer, but following it brings us deeper into ourselves, our growth and purpose.

If you are struggling and want to get clearer and strengthen your connection to guidance let me know. I am happy to support you in your process.

 

 

 

Entering the Blame Free Zone!

I just came across this marvelous article titled “Healing the Blame that Binds” by Kelly Bryson MA, MFT and I had to share it.  His opening paragraph says:

blame“Blame is the game that protects me from the understanding that the cause of all my emotional distress, fear, shame and guilt comes from the part of me I call “the inner voice.” As long as I keep the big bony finger of blame pointed in your direction, I can remain unaware of the fact that it is what I am telling myself about your behavior that is stimulating my painful reactions. This lack of awareness of the true cause of my distress also keeps me powerless to do much about it. And even though I may make great efforts to souse this distressing fire inside me by ensnaring you into taking responsibility for it, the fire still burns. It is as though there were a mirror reflecting a fire and I continued to pour bucket after bucket of water on the mirror expecting the fire
to be put out.”

You can find the complete article here:
http://www.nonviolentcommunication.com/pdf_files/healing_blame_kbryson.pdf

It is so easy to play the blame game. Imagine how the world would change if we were able to recognize our blame and instead take full responsibility for our feelings? Imagine how our relationships would improve!  If you would like support working with blame,  send me an email at hillary@healingcem.com  or give me a call at 860-884-7130

Wishing you a blame free day!

 

What Is LOVE?

tumblr_ly6pruXEtt1qjjxgzo1_400We talk about LOVE all the time. We love “this” and love “that”, including everything from favorite people, chocolate lava cake, children, pets, to the feelings we get from a wide variety of experiences. We know it is important, that we need it in our world. Many of us have created elaborate mechanisms and defenses just to insure we will get some. But what exactly are we talking about?

 

Love is our original state of being.

A few weeks ago, the “Reminders of What We Need To Know” group that meets at my office had a very interesting discussion about love. It is easy to say we need to love more and better, fully and unconditionally – but how? What exactly does that mean? What do we do with all those pesky feelings of annoyance, anger, jealousy, blame and judgment? Are they not love? Is the “love mask” we put on to hide our true not-so-loving-feelings, love? Can we love ourselves in a realistic, compassionate, non-self-centered way?

Love comes in two distinct versions. First is “I-Thou” love. This is what we are most familiar with and it is the every day way we express strong preferences. It requires an object to be activated and felt. It is the battleground of the heart. Being “in love” is pleasurable, and it fills us with joy, a sense of belonging, and a fullness in our hearts. It helps us connect with others in a meaningful way. It also leaves us open and vulnerable to distorted beliefs based on our experiences with love. Most of us have had our hearts broken at least once. People we have loved and trusted may have let us down or even more difficult to comprehend, hurt us deliberately. Our work, at this level of “I-Thou” object attached love, is to continually work the process around being clear, having our authentic feelings and deciding moment to moment how we want to love.

love-inspirational-dailyI remember back to the height of the “New Age Movement” that “unconditional love” was tossed around a lot and was basically the runoff from the hippie-flower-power concept. It meant, “I love you no matter what”. Love is not submission; it requires a strong sense of self and clear boundaries. The greatest love we ever offer is an honest, truthful relationship with accountability. Love is self work and the work pays off. It attracts us to the perfect people and experiences that will catalyze our transformation, if we allow it. We arrive in this physical world with an open heart and after banging around in the life experience, we hope to leave it with an open heart once more.

That “little love”, is heart centered, object oriented, messy and delicious; it is a catalyst for personal growth and necessary for our physical survival. This is very different from “big LOVE”, which is our original state of being.

Big LOVE is what we intuitively feel is needed in the world. It is spiritual connection and what we feel when in the presence of a illuminated being or teacher. The Dalai Lama is the epitome of big LOVE.

Big LOVE is not object oriented. We radiate this state in spite of what is going on around us, or to us, or in our hearts. It expands beyond our physical heart level into the realm of the Divine. When we bring awareness to this state of being, our true nature, we are not concerned with trying to do anything, get something, make anything change, or fighting a war. There is no fear or heartbreak, because it is not object attached. It is expansive and ecstatic. The very presence of this potent state of LOVE changes everything, beginning within ourselves. It puts all the heart centered issues, the power struggles, squabbles and defenses, into perspective. It holds the wisdom of knowing that we really are okay, and that everything always works out for the best. It is grace.

How do we get there? I wish I had a formula to give you. It is easy to identify when we are not in big LOVE. We want our way, we feel frustrated and judgmental. If we start with that awareness, it may be be possible to let go of that attachment, and choose a different way to be with ourselves. What I call big LOVE, is a pathway to enlightenment and there are many ways up that mountain. Tools that can support us in re-discovering our true nature may include meditation, chanting, and spiritual practices of all sorts. Conscious awareness and personal process helps us to become clear in our presence. Therapy. Healing. Prayer. Gratitude. Support and self-acceptance. Faith in that which is greater than our physical being. Each of us finds our way up the mountain. If you are looking for support along your way, I am happy to walk with you. Email me at hillary@healingcem.com or call 860-884-7130.

Wishing you a day touched by love!Dalai Lama2

 

 

Matrix Energetics

MEHillary is very excited to add Matrix Energetics (ME) to the HCEM toolbox!

ME came to my attention a few years ago and I found it very intriguing. After reading both of Dr. Bartlett’s books I knew that this technology was important and has a lot to offer to people seeking to transform challenges. It took me this long to be able to attend a training. The Level 1 and 2 training was expansive, fun, exciting and changed my perception of healing. I have committed to the practitioner certification program and will be incorporating it into sessions.

So what is ME? On the Matrix Energetics web page (matrixenergetics.com) Dr Bartlett states:

“Matrix Energetics is not a “thing” to be defined – it is, instead, a pathway to transformation. This transformation takes place by communicating at the quantum level with the wave fronts (energy and information) that create all of reality.”

How exciting is that? As he says, it is not a technique, it is a technology. As such it is easily integrated into the other healing modalities used at HCEM. Your questions and session feedback are very welcome.

 

Celebrating 20 years of Healing Connections

20_yearsIt seems like only yesterday…

Back in 1993 I started working one day a week as a Reiki practitioner in the office of local therapist, Jesse Kessler. I was brand new and Jesse had confidence in my ability and encouraged me every way she could. Since then I have enjoyed working with many people and teaching classes, hopefully making a positive difference. I don’t know if I will make it through another 20 years but I am willing to try if you are. 

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Thank you everyone for your trust and confidence in me and energy medicine over the years. Even when it was a new and rather strange concept, people were willing to give it a try. We have come a long way to general awareness and acceptance of this very significant and useful healing modality. 
 
To celebrate 20 terrific years in practice I will be offering 20 different specials over the course of the year. I hope you will be able to take advantage of one or more.  
To kick off the celebration I am offering a $20 saving on a session (regular cost $85) or class. Mention ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION when scheduling. (valid through 2/13/2013).
With great love and gratitude,
Hillary Gauvreau

The Gift of Receiving

‘Tis the Season to process feelings! Fa la la la la…las la la la!

I saw this quotation from Abraham-Hicks today and thought it was worth sharing and expanding on.

 “You might say, “How do I know if I’m in a receiving mode or not?” And we say, you always feel good when you’re in a receiving mode. When someone offers you a compliment, do you receive it, or do you sort of just shrug it off? There’s something about believing that you must justify your existence through your effort or through your perseverance, through your struggle. And many of you just have not practiced the receiving mode.”                                                                        — Abraham (Abraham-Hicks)

I have heard many people say they prefer giving gifts to receiving them. What is it that creates discomfort for many of us when we are faced with receiving?  The cause is probably different for each of us, but may all be connected by the common thread of self worth. We can feel like the hero when we give someone the perfect gift, but when it is our turn to receive we can become shy and uncomfortable.

There were so many messages about giving in my lifetime, all altruistic, generous and on the positive side of “good”. Rarely does anyone talk about the gift of receiving in a positive way. Receiving can be aligned with selfishness, lack of deserving, disappointment and sometimes there are “strings” other than ribbon attached to gifts that can cost us emotionally. Warm, gracious, receiving is a reflection of self worth. It isn’t about gifts, it is about feeling. How do you feel about expressing care and love? How do you feel about receiving the care and love of others? That is what gift giving, although somewhat distorted materialistically at times, is symbolic of. We can feel the difference between a thoughtful gift and an obligatory one. I knew someone who was so uncomfortable receiving gifts that the look of discomfort transmitted a message of disregard to the giver that was painful. The giver felt the dismissal of his care. It wasn’t about the gift at all. The more we can work with our wounding around love, the more gracious, loved and connected we can be.

What do you feel when you look at this picture? Uncomfortable? Guarded? Embarrassed because you having nothing to give in return? Curious? Eager? What are the thoughts that come to your mind? Memories?

One thing I know is true. When we can tolerate the uncomfortable feelings we learn more about ourselves which enables us to make new choices. We are better for every moment we can be open to feeling, noticing and becoming more conscious of who we are. There are abundant opportunities at the holidays to practice conscious awareness, self love and appreciation.  Perhaps the gift we are about to receive is one that is much bigger than what is wrapped in pretty paper and ribbon.

Wishing you Happy Holidays filled with the spirit of giving and receiving.

In Touch with Healing Connections

In Touch with Healing Connections  October/November 2012

The smell of woodsmoke is in the air, and the crisp mornings and warm afternoons under a deep blue sky just make me want to get out and enjoy it all before the snow flies. There is nothing more glorious that fall in New England! 

It seems that once we get to Halloween, we hurtle headlong into the holiday season and it all becomes a blur. Let’s try to pace ourselves, remember to breathe and not let the busy-ness distract us from this wonderful time with family, friends and deeper meaning.

I wish you all the best for this holiday season! Blessings, Hillary

  • Healing Connections is now accepting all major credit cards at the office! Finally! Clients have been asking for this convenience and I am happy that I can offer this payment option. 

 Healing Connections Article: Feelings… 

I had an interesting  experience the other day that made me pause. I was  sharing with a how deeply saddened I was at the sudden passing of a good friend’s child. No grief is easy but losing a child is about the toughest grief I can imagine.  The person I was talking with said “well, maybe you don’t have to be sad.” She is a dear soul and I know she meant to help, so this isn’t a complaint about her attempt to comfort me. But this experience got me thinking.

Feeling sad was appropriate and healthy in this circumstance. It allowed me to empathize with my friend and support her in her grief. Feeling real, true, honest, emotions that come from a life well lived keeps us connected, alive and vital. Not feeling can leave us stuck in a numbed out limbo of disconnection.

But how many of us have difficulty allowing unpleasant feelings, our own or others? Feelings, by design and intention, are energy that moves, is felt and expressed. When feelings are stifled, we often put on a mask (love, peace, or serenity) that is contrary to the circumstances and our true feelings. Our body listens to the messages our thoughts send – I am sad, but smiling; angry but serene; feeling no and saying yes. Mixed messages are confusing to our mental, spiritual and emotional systems and to others we are relating to. The natural flow of energy is stopped, the coherency of our system is scrambled and we become vulnerable to confusion, depression, suffering and possibly illness. Our true selves become foreign disconnected aspects of who we are which gets mirrored in a disconnection from others and the comfort we intended to offer.

Why do we do this? Perhaps we don’t know how to comfort another in their pain.  Perhaps another’s discomfort triggers our own uncomfortable feelings and we find that intolerable. If I cheer you up or shame you into not feeling uncomfortable feelings, then I don’t have to feel my own discomfort.  Perhaps we learned from our families that some feelings aren’t safe or acceptable; that if we express them we would be rejected, humiliated or judged. Often we are afraid that if we open up and feel those vulnerable feelings we will be overwhelmed by them and never find our way out. Whatever the reason, it is a common experience that we can work with.

Learning how to be with uncomfortable feelings can help us reclaim more of our authentic selves, allow us to be more present and relieve suffering.  The first step is to begin recognizing the feelings that we quickly want to cover up with a mask. Those are the feelings that scare or shame us and the very ones we want to reclaim. Aligning with strong positive intention to be aware and open to a new way of being with ourselves is all we need to begin this process.

Once we acknowledge the feelings, we begin feeling them, learning to tolerate the discomfort that inevitably comes up. When we feel a pure feeling it generally shifts and flows into another feeling and then another. My grief may shift to joy when I recall a special time with that friend, which then may naturally shift to sadness of missing them, maybe stirring up some anger that I have no control over this loss.

Learning to tolerate discomfort, allowing what is present to be felt and acknowledged, frees up blocked energy and our true feelings. This process naturally leads to a deeper connection to ourselves and others. We become courageous, present with what is, without having to sanitize it, act it out or contain it. We feel deep compassion and connection with others. Another’s pain is not ours to fix, and we honor the strength and courage of another when we authentically sympathize and care, rather than care-take.

Of course as always, if you ever find yourself overwhelmed by feelings, memories or experience it is wise to seek out some sort of support. Life can be challenging but we never have to walk it alone. Healing does not happen in isolation, it needs relationship and support.

Blessings, Hillary