The Truth About “Guidance”

1331417123_327939950_1-Pictures-of--Life-Coach-Spiritual-Guidance-CounselorAnyone who was a part of the New Age movement of the 80’s and 90’s, as I was, knows about guides and guidance. I remember going to a workshop and a psychic reader told each participant who their “guides” were. We are more sophisticated in our understanding of guidance today but still I see folks getting confused about the difference between “desire” and “guidance”. I have an acquaintance who is very excited to be aware of guidance and enthusiastically follows it. She felt that she wasn’t fulfilling her purpose in life and one day was “guided” to quit her job. Guidance? Possibly. It depends on how she relates to the experience and what she gains in her life from that choice.  I knew a man back in the height of the new age movement who was “guided” to leave his wife. Guidance or desire? Could be either and only choice, time and experience reveals the value. The beautiful thing about choice is that we can’t get it wrong. No matter what we choose we will always have an experience to learn from. Guidance can keep those experiences efficiently aligned with our intention and is always available in each and every moment. If we get off track, guidance will show the way back.

If you are seeking spiritual guidance there are a few things that are useful to know. While many of us seek the “burning bush” of irrefutable guidance, it often doesn’t come to us that way. Some imagine it is a divine force outside of themselves telling them what to do. Sometimes it is a deceased relative that shares advice, a psychic message or a master avatar that one reveres and guides the path.  It can also be a feeling in the 843434-881756-393body, good or bad, synchronicities, or a roll of the dice. Anything can be guidance, even the lowly penny on the sidewalk.  If it is meaningful to you and gives you direction, it is guidance. I have a friend who knows that whenever a feather shows up in her life she is on the right path. For me it is a feeling in my body. The challenge is in being able to distinguish actual guidance from desire. Are we looking for direction or validation for what we want? Guidance is not a simple “do this” or “do that” switch. “The guides” are not in charge, the individual is. Guidance will never tell you what to do, but will show you a direction. When we are clear, that direction will offer an experience that is aligned with intention.

When I was a student at BBSH, I remember Barbara Brennan saying that once you start following guidance, it gets easier to hear but more challenging to follow. This is true. Often we think that guidance, like finding a soul mate, will lead us to the land of milk and honey, everything will work out and we will live happily ever after. My friend who quit her job is discovering that is not always true. I followed guidance when I enrolled at BBSH. I have been fulfilled by that choice, but the path had many losses and challenges for me to work through. Following authentic guidance will always, without exception, put you on a path of growth and purpose. It will not always give you what you think you want. When we are aligned and challenged, we have a sense of purpose. When we are not clear and challenged we tend to suffer. That is what Barbara meant. Guidance gets clearer, but following it brings us deeper into ourselves, our growth and purpose.

If you are struggling and want to get clearer and strengthen your connection to guidance let me know. I am happy to support you in your process.

 

 

 

Entering the Blame Free Zone!

I just came across this marvelous article titled “Healing the Blame that Binds” by Kelly Bryson MA, MFT and I had to share it.  His opening paragraph says:

blame“Blame is the game that protects me from the understanding that the cause of all my emotional distress, fear, shame and guilt comes from the part of me I call “the inner voice.” As long as I keep the big bony finger of blame pointed in your direction, I can remain unaware of the fact that it is what I am telling myself about your behavior that is stimulating my painful reactions. This lack of awareness of the true cause of my distress also keeps me powerless to do much about it. And even though I may make great efforts to souse this distressing fire inside me by ensnaring you into taking responsibility for it, the fire still burns. It is as though there were a mirror reflecting a fire and I continued to pour bucket after bucket of water on the mirror expecting the fire
to be put out.”

You can find the complete article here:
http://www.nonviolentcommunication.com/pdf_files/healing_blame_kbryson.pdf

It is so easy to play the blame game. Imagine how the world would change if we were able to recognize our blame and instead take full responsibility for our feelings? Imagine how our relationships would improve!  If you would like support working with blame,  send me an email at hillary@healingcem.com  or give me a call at 860-884-7130

Wishing you a blame free day!